Sex N Me

No not “Sex And Me”, “Sex In Me”, “Sex On Me” or any other variation or interpretation. It is more like a cocktail of all interpretations you can come up with.

Having conversations with my friends Ray and Maame is always unpredictable. Maame looks and acts conservative whereas Ray is one chick I can talk to about ANYTHING. She’s not like some Ghanaian friends I have who automatically label you a slut just because you spoke about sex or label you “too known” because you mentioned inflation rates.

So we are having lunch and Ray starts talking about some stuff on her mind….you know? Bouncing stuff off me….the same stuff on her mind. Maame instantly tenses up and stops talking. Initially I hardly noticed because I was riled up and talking to Ray about contraceptives and the free clinic [You get an idea of where our conversation had led].

Ray was the one who noticed Maame’s mood change and of course, she asked what was wrong. I gathered soon enough that Maame didn’t like how openly we were talking about sex. she’s one of “those girls”. You know what I mean! Those girls who have tried every sexual position they have heard of yet act like they are the Virgin Mary herself.

But quite frankly though, I am very taken aback at how confident a lot of Ghanaians seem to be in expressing their" “sexuality” recently. Like so many people man! And it’s real awkward when you just get introduced to someone and the first thing they want to talk about is sex. I just keep thinking in my head…. WTF!! Like seriously yo, when did that happen? I look at tweets, Facebook status updates and wall posts, LinkedIn, BBM, you name it! EVERYONE seems to want to talk about SEX, SEX, SEX.

It’s not as if many of the people claiming “they want to PUT” can even perform when you put them in a room with someone of the opposite sex. Chances are they’ll get shy and start small talk and do nothing intimate that first day.

The worst is when after all that talk, you hear of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies a few months down the line. Like we are in the 16th century or something! The SAME people you hear talking about being all “PRO” in the game are the ones who come crying to you and asking for solutions.

What I think? Don’t put yourself in the situation if you can’t handle it. A guy doesn’t suffer ANY of the consequences so a girl needs to be smart! Trapping a guy with pregnancy? That was 14th century ladies! Get smart! Get on the pill! Popping Postinor 2 or Plan B isn't safe! It messes with your system. Yet there are girls who pop ‘em on the daily. GET ON THE PILL!

If you can’t carry a baby full term and pop it out when it’s due, don’t get in my face about sex because you ain’t rated SHIT in my books!

Sex N Me? NO! Sex N You.

Classy Nude?

I totally LOVE (implied) nude pictures. Some find it weird but I love to gaze at a beautiful piece of artistic work. Sometimes I let myself daydream and replace my face and body with that of the model….. Weird, I know!

The point is, there is this beauty…… This glorious beauty in CLASSY nudes (of any kind), that is not quite captured in those of the “bathroom mirror” variety.

This is a gorgeous picture of Adoley. In a minute, you will understand why I am putting up this display of African beauty here. Before I do that, let me appreciate this. I will first and foremost say, you do not have to pay a professional photographer to do nudies because that can be pricey. I mean, if you have the money to dish out, sure thing. But most people don’t! A good camera or webcam and very good lightening is good enough. This picture…… This embodiment of African beauty is stunning and artistic in every way.

Exhibit B

This is an example of a “bathroom mirror” picture. Tacky lightening, no artistic quality and just blah! This is the kind of nudie that turns you totally off… In every way imaginable.

Nudies are amazing! Let me tell you about this one friend of mine. She’s called Moe, and there’s an ethereal aura about her. She’s a real country girl from Louisville….. A perfect lady. I met her at my talent agency in Louisville. I was her wing-buddy at her photo shoot and she did some nudies.

I remember that day in the photographer’s studio. A real dainty loft in downtown Louisville. The lightening was amazing and her body? MY GOD!!!

Now if you love fashion….photography…porn….life…beauty…heck, even nature….. you’ll appreciate it. You understand what I mean. It is that kind of adoration in a non-sexual, non-lesbian sort of way.

Embrace nudies n revel in the art! They are amazing….. Take it from me.

 

Technorati Tags: Nude,Photography,Beauty

Horoscope

Dear Stranger,

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was check my horoscope, as usual. It has become more or less very routine to me now, my morning ritual, that is. For some reason, I managed to coax sleep to me in the space of a few hours instead of the usual sleepless nights I am so used to having. You can imagine my happiness then, even though I woke up 4 times between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am when I finally realized that was all the sleep I was going to get.

After reading my horoscope this morning, I realized one thing! My horoscope has never been off the mark. Call astrology and birth signs'/stars superstition, pure nonsense or whatnots. I will always strongly maintain that horoscopes are not a bunch of crap like others would want to believe. Every time I read my horoscope, it tells me what my mood is and how my day is going to go.

Let me establish this though. I have an extremely forgetful memory so after reading my horoscope, I forget what it said in less than 5 minutes. I am a very spontaneous kind of girl so I do not think I let my astrological forecast run my day, just clarifying that! This makes it even more surprising that my horoscope could be dead on target. Where am I leading to with all of this?

I have realized with increasing interest how a lot of females, as opposed to males are getting attached to astrological signs day in, day out and how it basically defines their life. this certainly would pique anyone’s interest…..or maybe it is just me. Anyway, i had a conversation with a couple of males who did not believe horoscopes were anything but a pack of fantasies while some girls vehemently stated that horoscopes give you an insight to how the day was going to go…sort of like telling the future.

I am wondering though, do we take horoscopes too seriously as humans and basically let them run our lives? I have no appropriate answer for that. I cannot tell because while my horoscope has always been very accurate, others claim the exact opposite for themselves.

If you asked me if I believed our astrological signs defined our personalities, I would whole heartedly agree. That, I have no doubt about. In every single person, if you are not very perceptive or attuned to these kind of things and you ask for a star sign, you automatically start seeing traits of the sign reflected in the individual once you are told which sign it is exactly. Quite doubtful? Do a test run and I bet you I would not be lying.

I ponder over the mysteries and intricacies of our belief in horoscopes and the astrological signs as I get my day started with a quick shower and a long class on Buddhism. You can ponder with me as well if you would like to.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

A New Calling

Dear Stranger,

I think I have received enlightenment. I know this is a weird and different from most of my letters but this is actually exciting stuff. I was engaged in a conversation with a friend about music and I have never had anyone approach me head on like that before. I was very impressed to say the least. I am probably making it sound even weirder and weirder am I not? I always seem to have my head all over the place in my letters and I apologize profusely.

I have a friend in the South. He is very knowledgeable in music. That is to say the least. I have heard this guy’s songs since I was in my first year of high school and he is very talented. Maybe a little tweak here and there but he has something really special. No not everyone has a calling to music like many Ghanaians seem to think. Music is something special. It is connected to the very center of you. Yes a whole lot of people can appreciate diverse music but you need that extra “uumphh” to either directly do music or criticize it.

I like to listen to a whole range of music. I am a down to earth music lover (If I do say that myself). I am used to people asking me to criticize music before it is released. I have no idea how it started though. I think I was on my high horse criticizing one of these American rappers and the next day my friends tried to pick my brain on a song they were working on. Maybe that is why I have a lot of friends in the music industry in Ghana…..or maybe not! Who knows? I am a socialite…or at least, I used to be one before I joined the group of “Africans in the Diaspora”.

That is not the point though. The point is, a friend called me out on how I was not being fair on some “up and coming” artistes in my critiques. Apparently I was being too lenient. I didn’t disagree with him because I knew his observation was on point. I explained however that I had tried being very forward in my critique and all it did was discourage a couple of “new faces/voices” and I felt very guilty. he was emphatic in letting me know that he preferred such criticism however and I was glad at least there were some people out there who did.

Later on, while I was on twitter, the topic of the new movies circulating the Ghanaian markets came up and I realize there were no harsh movie critics who spoke out on the issue of outright nudity in these movies and I decided maybe I should concentrate on that. This is the real point of my letter and it took me 480 words to get here. Anyway, I decided I was going to start writing reviews on Ghanaian and Nigerian movies since I watch quite a number of them whenever I am homesick. And frankly, I have not been impressed with any Ghanaian movie since their discovery of nude scenes. There is no concrete story line and all they seem to be focused on are the sex scenes. Are they aware media is easily accessible and we have kids out there who watch their productions? We copy very blindly from the West, i keep telling everyone, but we do not act tactical about what we copy.

it is such a shame though because we have a rich heritage. I am not totally excluding Nigeria but I can honestly say that no matter what they do in their movies, their culture shines through and if they go to far, they do have reprehensions which I have not seen in the Ghanaian movie industry yet. Maybe some of our actors need to experience probation like their Nigerian counterparts did. I boldly step into my new calling of movie critique and I will not be lenient but call out whoever needs calling out. I just hope they see the construct criticism of it and not rant and rave, because frankly I wouldn’t care if they did. This is where I rest my pen…..or in this case, my fingers.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

A Little Emotional

Dear Stranger,

I am up at 9. 48 pm EST because I cannot sleep. I have a couple of things on my mind and no one to talk to. Anyone I can unburden to, funny enough would be asleep by now because they are all on GMT. But I need to talk……… and I need to talk now. Yes, my letters seem to be very emotional but hey, I am a girl and I have a lot of pent up emotions in me. Don’t blame me. Don’t judge me. I am not special, I am just one of the female species (We like to think we are special though).

I was talking to a friend earlier today and a lot of things came up that bugged me to the point were it’s late and I still feel very much unsettled. We are always talking about how modern today’s age is and how we seem to know everything going on. I seem to have the mind of a 5 year old. I am always deviating from the point. Anyway, the point is that, my discussion today was about relationships.

I know, I know, I seem to always be talking about relationships. Some might even say I am obsessed with the idea of relationships but I think not. I do not think there is anything wrong with being very attached to the emotional part of you. It reminds us all that we are human and need to stop thinking too highly about ourselves but rather care about others. That is the truth though. And relationships are a good thing (despite my past ones). We make or break a relationship.

The debate, oddly enough was about something we all face at one point or another. Is sex during a relationship wrong or right? I mean, there are some hardcore Christians out there who will argue this point and convince you of how wrong it is (Don’t get me wrong, I am Christian myself). Being more spiritual than religious however, i try to keep an open mind. Funny thing is, this issue featured in 4 different conversations with 4 different people this weekend only. Why the coincidence I will never know, I guess!

But going with the religious train, sex before marriage is definitely wrong, right? It is fornicating whether you are committed to your partner or not. It is true it is hard to find true virgins out there so everyone settles for whoever they find whether virgin or non-virgin. The attitude of the new churches, for example non-denominational churches, towards virginity does not make it any easier. Why wouldn’t chastity be on the decline when there are categories for virgins. I found it absurd when I heard that a non-virgin who became a Christian becomes a virgin since he/she “becomes new in Christ”. That notion is simply preposterous.

This letter is going to make you wonder if I am a virgin who is using this as an outlet to let out pent up rage against non-virgins. That is not the issue and those who know me very well can attest to that. I am just very let down by the way society acts sometimes and this is one of those times. I understand the whole thing about chastity and fornication and adultery and all that. But sometimes you have to take into consideration the time and context the Bible was written in.

I am not condoning sexual acts of any kinds. Let’s keep an open mind. Take me for example. If I was in a committed relationship with someone and I know he is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, do I hold back from sex just because we are not married yet? That is a very difficult decision to make. Being female and viewed as helpless does not help issues either. What to do? What to do? And a lot of females face the dilemma portrayed in this scenario. This is the 21st Century and everywhere you look there are sexual innuendos. Take the media: television, radio, internet, newspapers, etc. They do not make things any easier.

Sometimes we, as a society, judge harshly without realizing the times we live in. Sometimes too, we condone certain things that we shouldn’t. This can go both ways and I know that. I have no idea why this was even on my mind. I had to write you about it though and now I have the clarity I needed. It is 10.48 pm EST and I now say goodnight.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

WHO TO CALL FAMILY

Dear Stranger,

Have you ever wondered about relationships? Okay so for example, a woman who is engaged is called a fiancée, one who is married is a wife, and one whose husband dies is a widow. Have you ever wondered what one whose fiancé dies is called? See! I thought so! Nothing!! Why is there no name in the English Language for that? I have no idea where this is coming from. Oh! Wait a minute! I do!!

What is the deal with undisclosed relationship ties? What do you call your brother-in-law's wife? Or your sister-in-law's husband? What about you mother-in-law's brother-in-law? Is your father-in-law's brother and uncle-in-law? Gosh! If only relationships were specified! The same can be said of informal relationships.

 

Are you allowed to call a friend who has been best buds with you for how-so-ever years a sister? Or does your best friend who you will practically cut off a hand for qualify as a candidate for sisterhood? The lines that describe and define relationships are very faint and not easily understood.

How are you supposed to react when people take advantage of your friendship with them just because of your huge heart? Surely, friendship is also a kind of relationship right? Is the relationship worth it when the people you call family can’t give anything up for you? Is it really? I leave that to you for an answer stranger.