Weirdly Wired Me

Thursday: 6 am

I get out of bed and head in the direction of the bathroom. I am holding both blackberries and my iTouch, of course! I have been tweeting for a couple of hours now, I should have left these things on my bed. O wait! When am I ever not tweeting?

I set my gadgets on the ledge of my bathroom sink and sit comfortably on the toilet seat. More thoughts go racing through my head. Why wasn’t I able to sleep last night? I wish I had a cute puppy….it would have woken me up this morning. I look down and stare at my tummy, my hips and my thighs for more than a second. I think I am gaining weight! My tummy is getting big *gasp* I should REALLY start yoga and stop procrastinating. My hips look wide. I want a baby.

I am finally done peeing. I grab some tissue paper and wipe myself clean then I look into the toilet bowl at my pee. Typical early morning urine : YELLOW! Am I pregnant? I want a baby! I should get a pregnancy test kit. Wait! Why am I even thinking of pregnancy? Shaking my head, I flush. I have been celibate for a while now. 

Spreading toothpaste on my brush…… Thinking about celibacy…I wonder why I am stressing myself with long distance relationships that are clearly not working. I don’t want to cut X, Y and Z out of my life. This girl kuraa what’s her problem? Does she really think spreading false rumors about me makes her look cool? Some people do the dumbest things for attention SMH!

Are you still with me? Don’t get lost in the maze or distracted….I am still thinking. I haven’t said anything out loud yet. Now I am humming a song. I wouldn’t tell you which though *shy face*. I wonder what the inflation rate was yesterday. I need to say a prayer for Bahrain and for Randy’s family and friends.

I go back into my room and under my duvet! Time to go back to Twitter and Tumblr! Tweeting my life away  as I usually do.

I shared 10 minutes of a weekday morning with you for the mere purpose of showing how random I am. I hate to be categorized or part of a generalization, so I show you how I can be and you learn how to stop categorizing me.

Sex N Me

No not “Sex And Me”, “Sex In Me”, “Sex On Me” or any other variation or interpretation. It is more like a cocktail of all interpretations you can come up with.

Having conversations with my friends Ray and Maame is always unpredictable. Maame looks and acts conservative whereas Ray is one chick I can talk to about ANYTHING. She’s not like some Ghanaian friends I have who automatically label you a slut just because you spoke about sex or label you “too known” because you mentioned inflation rates.

So we are having lunch and Ray starts talking about some stuff on her mind….you know? Bouncing stuff off me….the same stuff on her mind. Maame instantly tenses up and stops talking. Initially I hardly noticed because I was riled up and talking to Ray about contraceptives and the free clinic [You get an idea of where our conversation had led].

Ray was the one who noticed Maame’s mood change and of course, she asked what was wrong. I gathered soon enough that Maame didn’t like how openly we were talking about sex. she’s one of “those girls”. You know what I mean! Those girls who have tried every sexual position they have heard of yet act like they are the Virgin Mary herself.

But quite frankly though, I am very taken aback at how confident a lot of Ghanaians seem to be in expressing their" “sexuality” recently. Like so many people man! And it’s real awkward when you just get introduced to someone and the first thing they want to talk about is sex. I just keep thinking in my head…. WTF!! Like seriously yo, when did that happen? I look at tweets, Facebook status updates and wall posts, LinkedIn, BBM, you name it! EVERYONE seems to want to talk about SEX, SEX, SEX.

It’s not as if many of the people claiming “they want to PUT” can even perform when you put them in a room with someone of the opposite sex. Chances are they’ll get shy and start small talk and do nothing intimate that first day.

The worst is when after all that talk, you hear of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies a few months down the line. Like we are in the 16th century or something! The SAME people you hear talking about being all “PRO” in the game are the ones who come crying to you and asking for solutions.

What I think? Don’t put yourself in the situation if you can’t handle it. A guy doesn’t suffer ANY of the consequences so a girl needs to be smart! Trapping a guy with pregnancy? That was 14th century ladies! Get smart! Get on the pill! Popping Postinor 2 or Plan B isn't safe! It messes with your system. Yet there are girls who pop ‘em on the daily. GET ON THE PILL!

If you can’t carry a baby full term and pop it out when it’s due, don’t get in my face about sex because you ain’t rated SHIT in my books!

Sex N Me? NO! Sex N You.