Why Girls Cheat

Dear Stranger,
In a recent conversation with one of my close male friends, I was asked a simple question: “Why do girls cheat?”

I was stunned for more than a second because I had no single answer for him. I mean, that was a loaded question.

Apparently his relationship was going great and he was blindsided. He didnt even see a possibility of his girl cheating on him as anywhere close to the equation.

So I decided to write all the reasons that came to mind when I thought about the phrase “girls cheat” and this is what I came up with.

Girls cheat on their boyfriends for many reasons: not getting the attention they need, sex in the relationship does not satisfy them and/or to get even with the boy.

My personal advice is: if you think your girlfriend might cheat because you are not treating her the way she wants and needs to be treated, stop what you are doing wrong and do the opposite. You can send her flowers, buy her a small gift that she will really like, etc.

Some girls cheat because they do not have high morals. These kind of girls are self-centered and can not care for anyone except themselves. If you are with such a girl RUN and if you have kids with her, take them with you.

If a girl is not being treated well or the sexual relationship is not good, then there should be communication between her and her boy. She has the free will to confront her boyfriend with the problems she feels they have and leave without hurting him by cheating.

However, some girls cheat because they see their relationship coming to an end naturally and try to soften the blow for themselves.

For the same reasons why boys cheat on girls: If you are wired to cheat, you eventually will. It is just a matter of time and the right circumstances.

If you are a pretty intuitive person, then you can judge if a person will cheat or not. Things like, weak willpower, lying or doing things behind someone’s back especially if caught, are the signs, which indicate whether a person will cheat or not. Just my opinion, ofcourse, take it with a pinch of salt.

She obviously thinks you suck as a man so let her live her life and be happy! If you love her and you two were meant for each other then she will come back.

It’s one major ego breaker. Guys are more likely to cheat on their girlfriends but what if it happens the other away around? That is totally heartbreaking.

Not to say though that it’s less heartbreaking for the girls when their boyfriends cheat on them. Cheating is not right, period.

That’s even reason enough to break-up. Below are some reasons why girls cheat. And for you to do something before that happens!

BOREDOM. Yes, girls are capable of that. Even if they talk a lot and create a lot of drama all at the same time, they can be bored in a relationship. So find some exciting and memorable things to do together everyday. Even if it’s just a call or to send her a message reminding her how much you love her, that’s more than enough.

Does your girl have an ex she’s been trying to get over with for the longest time? If this wasn’t settled, then it could be one reason why she would suddenly cheat on you. Maybe she finds something lacking in your relationship that she’s still longing for from the other guy. Your only option here, sadly, is to break-up with her. You don’t want to be someone who is thinking of someone else.

Are you becoming too predictable? Are you both always happy? Do you do the same things and talk about the same things? Sounds like you both should find something to fight about. Really! Not kidding. Drama adds spice to a relationship and fights will make your bond stronger.

Too nice of a boyfriend. Saying yes to a girl’s every whim will definitely urge her to cheat. Make her realize your value and make it two-way. It’s a give and take relationship. It’s not the guy’s job to just give and give. Demand from time to time and make her work her way up to your rewards. At the same time, realize her worth. Being nice is nice but too much is definitely not a good idea.

If this doesn’t help explain why girls cheat, I have no idea what else could.

Thanks for listening,
MzYayraTay

Tech Crazed Me

Dear Stranger,

I am discovering a lot about myself and even though some of it scares me, there is this one issue that I just ought to share. After all, it always helps to build one’s self into a better individual right? Trust me, it works for the better. Here I am babbling [or rather on the verge of babbling] once again.

Some people may say I am insane, complicated or even dramatic, for taking this stance, and going down this road. All I do, is laugh it off, and shrug it off [haha that rhymed]. Personally, I think everyone should consider taking a break from people…and technology….once in a while.

It keeps us sane….the break, that is! In this fast-paced world of today, we always seem to be worried about work, the latest gossip [mind you, about others, yet we hate to be talked about], money, relationships [this is a maybe] and even yet more money. [Backtrack! Backtrack!!] Okay so some people [like me] like to put shopping and fun stuff between work and gossip. But we still burden ourselves with a full [or rather an overfilled] plate.

What with the advent of technology [the Internet, cell phones, and all that....], the situation keeps getting worse with no immediate hope [at least in my opinion] of getting better. And this scares the living daylights out of me [literally].

I always use myself as a typical example. I use, at one time, a laptop, a television, an iPod nano, an iPod touch, two cell phones and at least carry 3 different electronic gaming systems in my bag [I think I forgot to mention the novels and ebook reader I carry in my bag perpertually].

Some [ok well it would be total truth if I substituted "some" with "most"] people tell me I am “technology crazed” [as if I didn't know that already. Duh!] I love to use technology. I am a connoisseur of technology and I believe it makes life easier! But even I need a break from it.

The one bad habit I have acquired over the years is to stay logged in to various Internet accounts I own [even when I am nowhere near my gadgets] basically because I am the sole user and it is much easier and convenient to do so [laziness!! Yeah! Yeah!! Yeah!!!]

With the advent of wireless internet and portable devices, most people [especially multi-task pros] find it easy to live a dual life with perfect ease. Hence the need to take a break. I probably didn’t make any sense…..but I never do anyways.

Thanks for listening,
MzYayraTay

Summer Catch Up

Dear Stranger,

I have been very wrapped up in myself and everything going on around me and not paid that much attention to my letters to you. I guess I am showing how much of a self-absorbed college student I am huh! A lot has been going on though.

Save to say that I am on my summer break after my second year in college. Man! This was one break I was looking forward to months before it was due. I mean, second year was tough! A lot different from first year definitely. It felt like the social life of the student body graduated with the graduating class of 2009. Sounds weird and/or corny but it really feels like it did.

I mean, how does a fun year turn slow and boring the very next? Exactly my thought! (did I lose you yet?) This past year thought me a lot about myself though. It showed me how emotional I could get and that my heart is still in my body somewhere (lol!) That, I was sorry to learn, was the mildest lesson I learnt. I also learnt how unpredictable people could really be. I am glad I had this experience even though I was on the verge of madness.

Another academic year is about to start in 2 months and I have no plans and no ideas on what I want to do. I definately know transfering is on the cards for me but the question though is where to? Maybe I will just take sometime off and fully rest: deal with my ulcer and go for that treatment finally and find a way to resolve my recurring migraines. That sounds like a good life plan.

I guess I bored you a lot. I am up late with nothing to watch on tv and since I hadn’t written in over a month, this was a perfect opportunity to unburden.

Thanks for listening,
MzYayraTay

Culture of the Ghanaian Child

Dear Stranger,

I am up on another early morning (well 3 am to be exact) with some worrisome thoughts on my mind. As usual, I checked my horoscope (first thing I do daily) and decided to take advantage of my “persistent” aura and write a dogmatic letter about my worries over the culture of the Ghanaian child.

It is sad to think day in and day out, we throw away what little we have of our culture in us. Growing up, I always took for granted and even demeaned whatever came out of the country, whether it be food, clothes, movies, music, clubs, etc. Being in the Diaspora for a couple of years straight with no contact to home except via the internet and the telephone, however, has given me a different outlook to a lot of things but most importantly the culture of my own people.

Out here in college, I am a very proud Ghanaian girl. I love to wear my bead jewelry (take into consideration that I made them myself, one of my many talents), wear print clothes and there is always Ghanaian music blaring in my room or through the earphones of my iPod Touch. Some people refer to it as homesickness but I refer to it as a case of “you never know what you have until you lose it”. Well in this case, it is not in the traditional term lost, but in a sense it is…well maybe “out of reach” is a better phrase.

It is sad how this generation of Ghanaians (myself inclusive) are dying to incorporate westernized views into everything we do! We make a huge fuss over all these western jargons and sing their songs, prefer their foods, would even want to wear their clothes over ours. Quite frankly, half of the jargons used in the West are not even understood by the people themselves.

Walk down a street and ask 5 different people what “dead”, “slow” or even “honk”. You will have at most 5 different definitions or at least 2 or 3 or them. And most often than not, most of the definitions are not even right. I am beginning to believe in the need for trend setting. I believe in the ‘Culture of the Ghanaian Child’ and its importance in all our lives as Ghanaians.

In effect, this is the trend I am going to start: I am going to wear as much as I can from Ghana, eat as much indigenous (pardon my use of the word, even I personally hate it but for lack of a better word I struggle to use it) dishes as I can, use my own jargons (I already make up my own words anyway), listen to as many Ghanaian songs as I can and basically bring out the all-round Ghanaian in me.

I do not promise that I would refrain from criticizing when I feel the need to improve what we do or how we present ourselves (after all, image is everything, no?). Whoever cares to take up this mantle and join me is more than welcome to. Together we can all make it a better country and not desert the ‘Culture of the Ghanaian Child’ for greener pastures and no identity.

On a last note, I salute “Wanluv the Kuborlor” whose image, on a daily basis, reminds me of how proud it is to be a Ghanaian.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

Horoscope

Dear Stranger,

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was check my horoscope, as usual. It has become more or less very routine to me now, my morning ritual, that is. For some reason, I managed to coax sleep to me in the space of a few hours instead of the usual sleepless nights I am so used to having. You can imagine my happiness then, even though I woke up 4 times between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am when I finally realized that was all the sleep I was going to get.

After reading my horoscope this morning, I realized one thing! My horoscope has never been off the mark. Call astrology and birth signs'/stars superstition, pure nonsense or whatnots. I will always strongly maintain that horoscopes are not a bunch of crap like others would want to believe. Every time I read my horoscope, it tells me what my mood is and how my day is going to go.

Let me establish this though. I have an extremely forgetful memory so after reading my horoscope, I forget what it said in less than 5 minutes. I am a very spontaneous kind of girl so I do not think I let my astrological forecast run my day, just clarifying that! This makes it even more surprising that my horoscope could be dead on target. Where am I leading to with all of this?

I have realized with increasing interest how a lot of females, as opposed to males are getting attached to astrological signs day in, day out and how it basically defines their life. this certainly would pique anyone’s interest…..or maybe it is just me. Anyway, i had a conversation with a couple of males who did not believe horoscopes were anything but a pack of fantasies while some girls vehemently stated that horoscopes give you an insight to how the day was going to go…sort of like telling the future.

I am wondering though, do we take horoscopes too seriously as humans and basically let them run our lives? I have no appropriate answer for that. I cannot tell because while my horoscope has always been very accurate, others claim the exact opposite for themselves.

If you asked me if I believed our astrological signs defined our personalities, I would whole heartedly agree. That, I have no doubt about. In every single person, if you are not very perceptive or attuned to these kind of things and you ask for a star sign, you automatically start seeing traits of the sign reflected in the individual once you are told which sign it is exactly. Quite doubtful? Do a test run and I bet you I would not be lying.

I ponder over the mysteries and intricacies of our belief in horoscopes and the astrological signs as I get my day started with a quick shower and a long class on Buddhism. You can ponder with me as well if you would like to.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

A New Calling

Dear Stranger,

I think I have received enlightenment. I know this is a weird and different from most of my letters but this is actually exciting stuff. I was engaged in a conversation with a friend about music and I have never had anyone approach me head on like that before. I was very impressed to say the least. I am probably making it sound even weirder and weirder am I not? I always seem to have my head all over the place in my letters and I apologize profusely.

I have a friend in the South. He is very knowledgeable in music. That is to say the least. I have heard this guy’s songs since I was in my first year of high school and he is very talented. Maybe a little tweak here and there but he has something really special. No not everyone has a calling to music like many Ghanaians seem to think. Music is something special. It is connected to the very center of you. Yes a whole lot of people can appreciate diverse music but you need that extra “uumphh” to either directly do music or criticize it.

I like to listen to a whole range of music. I am a down to earth music lover (If I do say that myself). I am used to people asking me to criticize music before it is released. I have no idea how it started though. I think I was on my high horse criticizing one of these American rappers and the next day my friends tried to pick my brain on a song they were working on. Maybe that is why I have a lot of friends in the music industry in Ghana…..or maybe not! Who knows? I am a socialite…or at least, I used to be one before I joined the group of “Africans in the Diaspora”.

That is not the point though. The point is, a friend called me out on how I was not being fair on some “up and coming” artistes in my critiques. Apparently I was being too lenient. I didn’t disagree with him because I knew his observation was on point. I explained however that I had tried being very forward in my critique and all it did was discourage a couple of “new faces/voices” and I felt very guilty. he was emphatic in letting me know that he preferred such criticism however and I was glad at least there were some people out there who did.

Later on, while I was on twitter, the topic of the new movies circulating the Ghanaian markets came up and I realize there were no harsh movie critics who spoke out on the issue of outright nudity in these movies and I decided maybe I should concentrate on that. This is the real point of my letter and it took me 480 words to get here. Anyway, I decided I was going to start writing reviews on Ghanaian and Nigerian movies since I watch quite a number of them whenever I am homesick. And frankly, I have not been impressed with any Ghanaian movie since their discovery of nude scenes. There is no concrete story line and all they seem to be focused on are the sex scenes. Are they aware media is easily accessible and we have kids out there who watch their productions? We copy very blindly from the West, i keep telling everyone, but we do not act tactical about what we copy.

it is such a shame though because we have a rich heritage. I am not totally excluding Nigeria but I can honestly say that no matter what they do in their movies, their culture shines through and if they go to far, they do have reprehensions which I have not seen in the Ghanaian movie industry yet. Maybe some of our actors need to experience probation like their Nigerian counterparts did. I boldly step into my new calling of movie critique and I will not be lenient but call out whoever needs calling out. I just hope they see the construct criticism of it and not rant and rave, because frankly I wouldn’t care if they did. This is where I rest my pen…..or in this case, my fingers.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

Relationship Status

Dear Stranger,

I realized all my letters to date have been emotionally oriented but hey, that’s the way the wind blows recently. All I do is go with it. I stumbled unto something recently and had a series of interesting conversations on the topic.

There is this big fuss about relationship statuses on social networking sites especially Facebook and MySpace. People tend to take this seriously, I have realized. And given how these sites are popular and structured, who wouldn’t?

I only recently found out I was in an implied relationship. What does one refer to his/her partner as then? It definitely isn’t boyfriend or girlfriend. Do we coin up new terms and words then?

As we get more technologically advanced we complicate our simple lives instead of the reverse. I never really saw the huge fuss about “having a title” for a relationship till I found myself in that iffy funky place.

Let me explain! I have a never been unsure about a relationship before this one. From my initial conversations with a guy I can easily tell who is going to run the relationship, how long it would last and even who would call it off even before I agree to date a guy. Call it perceptive, paranoid or even controlling, I don’t care. I just call it “facing reality”.

I suppose everyone meets that person that puts them out of their comfort zone and challenges how “the normal” is for them. I have gotten to that zone. And trust me, when you are helpless in making strong decisions, the issue of relationship status is far from mind.

What is the deal though with people creating controversies on these social networking sites anyway? Why put up a relationship status with someone when there is another individual to consider? Like seriously, take out “open relationships” and “it’s complicated” we all know they don’t ever exist in serious monogamous relationships anyway.

For real though, everyone knows an open relationship is an excuse to cheat or have multiple partners. There is nothing serious about that or is there? Neither is there anything monogamous about it. And how is a relationship complicated? It is either you are in one or you are not. What is complicated about a relationship?

I tell people all the time,  I may have fallen deeply for the guy I am talking to but I am still single. So long as I have not been asked, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I am still on the open market. Yes sure, after falling head over heels for this dude if he is not the one who asks me out I would be devastated but that would only be my fault because I shouldn’t be this smitten when I am not in a recognized relationship, blah blah blah! I have heard that speech one too many times already.

In my opinion? Relationship status do mean a great deal especially if you are involved with an insecure person like myself. Do not get it twisted though. A girl might tell you she is okay with complicated and/or open relationships but no matter how much she loves you, she is lying to you. There is a plot hatching behind the scenes so do not get tangled with that. I have said my piece and poured it all out. As usual,

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

Reflections

Dear Stranger,

This has been a crazy and weird past couple of weeks for me. I am at a point in my life that I always wished to never be at. Everything is falling apart, some things are perfect, others are stressful and others just don’t seem to be quite right. Sometimes I feel like it is about time I just gave up and moved on. Life is too hard to live by just being me. I am sure I am not making any sense at this point, right? Let me break it down for you to understand much more better what and how I feel right about now.

I think I have found the love of my life. Scratch that! I have found the love of my life. Thing is, my past is holding me back and I feel like it may ruin my budding relationship. I know everyone has a past and it never stays out of the way. This is not in relation to anything I did in my past though. It is about the fact that I have always been in control and now I am facing the idea of letting go completely.

I have always been wary of the word “Love”. Maybe it is because guys have always been in a haste to tell me they love me without even understanding the word or knowing me that well. Whoever told the male species that telling a girl you love her all too quickly secures the deal? Most often than not, it scares us away. I never really cared because I knew deep down I was not the type to settle down.

After all, most guys who seemed to be interested in me always let me have my way, thinking it would prove their love. It only made me bore of them real fast. Now I am facing a predicament I have never encountered before. I am at the point where I think my previous thoughts are all void and I just may be the type to fall in love. How to let doubts go whenever I hear the L word and believe that a guy I am in love with honestly and truly loves me back is hard. I am determined to get to the point where I hold nothing back though because he is worth it.

Why am I giving you a summary of an episode of my life? I have no idea why I just did. While writing this, I am not even sure if I will send it out or not. I think what I wanted was to connect to anyone out there who may be in a similar predicament as me, to figure out the right thing to do. While writing this, I have come to the conclusion as to what I have to do about my situation.

You may be a silent receiver of my letters day in and day out but you sure are helpful. It always helps to have something like this to help take me from point A to point B.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

A Little Emotional

Dear Stranger,

I am up at 9. 48 pm EST because I cannot sleep. I have a couple of things on my mind and no one to talk to. Anyone I can unburden to, funny enough would be asleep by now because they are all on GMT. But I need to talk……… and I need to talk now. Yes, my letters seem to be very emotional but hey, I am a girl and I have a lot of pent up emotions in me. Don’t blame me. Don’t judge me. I am not special, I am just one of the female species (We like to think we are special though).

I was talking to a friend earlier today and a lot of things came up that bugged me to the point were it’s late and I still feel very much unsettled. We are always talking about how modern today’s age is and how we seem to know everything going on. I seem to have the mind of a 5 year old. I am always deviating from the point. Anyway, the point is that, my discussion today was about relationships.

I know, I know, I seem to always be talking about relationships. Some might even say I am obsessed with the idea of relationships but I think not. I do not think there is anything wrong with being very attached to the emotional part of you. It reminds us all that we are human and need to stop thinking too highly about ourselves but rather care about others. That is the truth though. And relationships are a good thing (despite my past ones). We make or break a relationship.

The debate, oddly enough was about something we all face at one point or another. Is sex during a relationship wrong or right? I mean, there are some hardcore Christians out there who will argue this point and convince you of how wrong it is (Don’t get me wrong, I am Christian myself). Being more spiritual than religious however, i try to keep an open mind. Funny thing is, this issue featured in 4 different conversations with 4 different people this weekend only. Why the coincidence I will never know, I guess!

But going with the religious train, sex before marriage is definitely wrong, right? It is fornicating whether you are committed to your partner or not. It is true it is hard to find true virgins out there so everyone settles for whoever they find whether virgin or non-virgin. The attitude of the new churches, for example non-denominational churches, towards virginity does not make it any easier. Why wouldn’t chastity be on the decline when there are categories for virgins. I found it absurd when I heard that a non-virgin who became a Christian becomes a virgin since he/she “becomes new in Christ”. That notion is simply preposterous.

This letter is going to make you wonder if I am a virgin who is using this as an outlet to let out pent up rage against non-virgins. That is not the issue and those who know me very well can attest to that. I am just very let down by the way society acts sometimes and this is one of those times. I understand the whole thing about chastity and fornication and adultery and all that. But sometimes you have to take into consideration the time and context the Bible was written in.

I am not condoning sexual acts of any kinds. Let’s keep an open mind. Take me for example. If I was in a committed relationship with someone and I know he is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, do I hold back from sex just because we are not married yet? That is a very difficult decision to make. Being female and viewed as helpless does not help issues either. What to do? What to do? And a lot of females face the dilemma portrayed in this scenario. This is the 21st Century and everywhere you look there are sexual innuendos. Take the media: television, radio, internet, newspapers, etc. They do not make things any easier.

Sometimes we, as a society, judge harshly without realizing the times we live in. Sometimes too, we condone certain things that we shouldn’t. This can go both ways and I know that. I have no idea why this was even on my mind. I had to write you about it though and now I have the clarity I needed. It is 10.48 pm EST and I now say goodnight.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

STRANGE WORDS

Dear Stranger,

It has been a while but I am here again. You may think this is a trifling issue that I want to bring up, but quite to the  contrary, it means a lot to me. A little background beforehand though. I am in a school, that is located in a state, that has a lot of white supremacy communities. Luckily the one I find myself in is not as bad as some others. I realize the community members are making a conscious effort to open up to the idea of diversity around them (It’s not like they have a choice!).  Anyway, getting to my point! I have realized a lot of issues in direct relation and connection to RACISM!

I do not consider myself to be racist in the very least. I may occasionally say “white people”, “black people”, “Hispanics” or stereotype once in a while, but hey who does not? To convince you that I am very much not racist I will tell you this. I am in a predominantly white sorority with just three minorities (me inclusive). Over the past two semesters however, along with the increase in the minority population on campus came issues of racism and this is my personal reflection on the issue.

I come from a society where everybody is open, warm and hospitable. I am not going to be naive and say back home no one stereotypes. That would be an outright lie. Personally, I have been labeled all sorts of stereotypes. Some of them not quite pleasant but so what? (I seem to be deviating from my point.) The point is, my exposure to racism quite astounded me.

Considering the fact that the United States prides itself on its state of democracy and freedom even shows how much of a mockery the government can make of its own people. Now I know I should be politically correct but sometimes that kind of restraint and reason flies out of the window in the heat of a passionate outburst and this is one of those times. Am I really to believe that the government has no idea of all the white supremacy communities out there that make it hard for minorities to exercise their legal right of freedom of movement? I will take that as a NO because no one who is educated like I am will believe an ounce of that.

We, as a society; We, as a people; tend to put labels on each individual and categorize them neatly into cute little boxes. We feel safer that way. What is the use of educating the masses and encouraging freedom of expression when we are going to restrict and categorize them anyway? Funny thing is, we are being educated in that fashion in those communities. Take for example my college. It is no secret that some student feel intimidated by the minorities on campus. Every event held has poor attendance from the majority on campus. Participation in events that are not traditionally Caucasian become flops or border-line flops.

Why do so many students boycott the diversity organizations on campus? While a number of us are trying to put the awareness of diversity out there, others blatantly refuse to even keep an open mind to what we are about. We are labeled as the “International kids” or the “Black kids”. Can it ever be the “International club members”  or even the “Diversity club members”?

Is there a point at which the society will be willing to open up and learn from everyone unlike them instead of making us feel like outsiders? Because that is how I personally feel. I have gradually transformed from a social butterfly to a recluse, an anti-social person. I have been made uncomfortable to the point that my usual adventurous and adaptable self is dying to go back home…….To be with people who are open to getting to know each individual and accept them for themselves and also openly express emotionally how they feel about an individual.

I do not know if any of this makes any sense. But as usual, I needed to tell you what was on my mind and now I am done.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

THE ONE

Dear Stranger,
I do not mean to be overly emotional these past couple of days but a lot has happened that has showed me how much I have and what to appreciate. Yes, I am going down the overly dramatized road but do not blame me because I can't seem to help it.

I have met someone. Someone who makes my heart skip, race and pump fast all at the same time with just the sound of his voice. Someone who knows the right things to say and the right time and have me reeling. Someone who..... I can go on and on. I know I sound like a lovesick puppy but I do get that reaction just from being acquainted to him.

We all think we have met THE ONE every time we enter a new relationship. Call it cliché or whatever you would but it does happen. I have met a lot of people, and been loved by a lot more trust me. For whatever reason why I was loved I cannot tell. I have had the sense of being used, because of my social stature or physical looks (trust me, I am not a looker).
Anyway, (I didn't mean to digress) my dude is amazing no kidding! He makes me feel like I am finally where I belong. Don't get me wrong dude and I are not in an exclusive monogamous relationship or anything but he still is mine... At least I hope he is!
It is nice to hear someone say they love you and hear the raw emotion in their voice. To see his text first thing when you wake up and feel like everything is going to be okay and you can go through the day. Hear him say he misses you and automatically smile without even thinking twice. I feel loved. For the first time in a long time ( and by a long time I mean never..ever... Take that as you will ) I can honestly say it is not for my looks or social stature but rather because of my personality...my very own self. And I love him back no bars or nothing holding me back.

Love is a funny feeling. I swore after my last traumatic break up that I was done with relationships and that was it for me for at least a year or more. Who ever knew there was a dude coming along and not just that but also would end up stealing my heart and that of my baybay (that would be Adjoa Clarke in case you didn't know! ). Hurting him, or even upsetting him is not something I would consciously do ever. After finding this kind of happiness I do not think I would want to loose it.

And what is the deal with all these guys popping out of the woodwork just when I have found happiness..and true happiness at that? I do not understand that at all. Gosh, guys confuse me a lot. You never know what they want or when they have good intentions. I like emotions. I tell every dude from the very start..... I only deal with emotions else I will not believe or trust anything I am told. Do they listen? Nope! They never do! I am constantly being lied to and cheated on. Who told them that's what girls like? I am not attracted to bad boys at all! Sorry to burst your bubble boys I just am not!

I have rumbled on and on about this amazing guy! Is he worth it? I will say so. I would never have called myself an easy catch before today. He had me in just a few days and I am not even embarrassed about that fact because he is worth every single minute of my time spent with him. Talking, laughing, just staring at each other on the computer screen (yes, he lives far off), texting, etc. He is worth it all.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

F is for Family

Technorati Tags: Family,Friends,Twitter

Dear Stranger,
I recently met someone who makes me feel like being myself is not wrong at all. Well actually, I met a couple of people; but this person really stands out.
Thing is, I have made a new family. A group of people that I think care about me and will be there for me if I needed them. I do not mean to twist and turn your mind round and round. I am referring to my Twitter family.
Most people will question the choice of finding family on a social site. I do not care or mind any of them.I have very good friends on there and that is what counts.
Not to put anyone on the spot or on blast, I have found friends I can talk to about anything at all. Kobby Koomson is someone I feel comfortable talking to about anything on my mind. he is an amazing person. Getting to know him makes me realize a lot of things about me. For one of the very few times i can recall, I have someone I can be completely open with and that feels amazing.
The most wonderful person I have met so far, is Adjoa Clarke. She makes me feel like there is a reason to keep caring. It was scary at first; talking to someone and hearing the exact same words you would have uttered. I call her my “baybay”… my daughter….. my twin….. It is uncanny how similar we are. Adjoa makes me realize that there is a reason to still have a good heart and care deeply about people.
Not everyone in this world will let you down. And Adjoa and Kobby are not the only ones I have grown to care for, there are a couple more. take for instance Astrid, Ashiorkor, Joey, Kwame, Bismark, Natty, just to name a few. I found acceptance. Acceptance by a group of people as the person I really am with no qualms. Acceptance to be myself with no one trying to change me to fit their own description. Acceptance to be myself and be totally real without having to watch my words or actions and still be called “adorable” and “cute”.
Now who said you cannot find family on a social networking site? That person was certainly very wrong. If you ask me for a category of I people I would most likely mention names from twitter first! Who can I count on? Easy: Adjoa, Natty, Kobby… Who can I talk to? Kobby, Adjoa. Need I say more?
It’s funny how the people I am with on a day-to-day basis do not hold a torch in comparison to these folks. But then again that is one of the advantages of a social networking site…. The people who choose to be around you are the people who can stand the real you.
I have definitely realized one thing, like Lil’ Wayne said, “the F is for Family” and I am glad I found mine.

Thanks for listening,

MzYayraTay

WHO TO CALL FAMILY

Dear Stranger,

Have you ever wondered about relationships? Okay so for example, a woman who is engaged is called a fiancée, one who is married is a wife, and one whose husband dies is a widow. Have you ever wondered what one whose fiancé dies is called? See! I thought so! Nothing!! Why is there no name in the English Language for that? I have no idea where this is coming from. Oh! Wait a minute! I do!!

What is the deal with undisclosed relationship ties? What do you call your brother-in-law's wife? Or your sister-in-law's husband? What about you mother-in-law's brother-in-law? Is your father-in-law's brother and uncle-in-law? Gosh! If only relationships were specified! The same can be said of informal relationships.

 

Are you allowed to call a friend who has been best buds with you for how-so-ever years a sister? Or does your best friend who you will practically cut off a hand for qualify as a candidate for sisterhood? The lines that describe and define relationships are very faint and not easily understood.

How are you supposed to react when people take advantage of your friendship with them just because of your huge heart? Surely, friendship is also a kind of relationship right? Is the relationship worth it when the people you call family can’t give anything up for you? Is it really? I leave that to you for an answer stranger.

Introducing Myself....

Dear Stranger,

I am going to start by introducing myself. I am a troubled young adult who has a lot on my mind. You will find out a lot about me through subsequent letters from me.

I am tempted to start writing to you because there is no one to share my thoughts with. No one I can count on to listen and advice.... I would like a friend I could pour all my troubles, worries and curiosities to. Someone who would listen for once, to everything I have to say. That is not too much to ask or is it? 

I like to talk.....a lot! And I wonder about a lot too. I would just like to put it out there so that I do not occupy my mind with things past but rather think about a lot more. I like having someone there to listen. I like to be the one being listened to and being helped for once! I like just knowing that there is someone there....someone I could turn to without worrying and wondering if my best interest come first! 

I like being the center of attention once in a while and feeling important and loved all the time. I like not feeling used by others for whatever reason. Can I expect that from you? I know a lot of people come to you to listen. But I need to talk..... I need to write..... I need to write to you Stranger.

Social Networking Sites!!!

So I have been around on the scenes of social networking sites for a while and I am very amused by a lot of the things I see. Everybody remembers when Hi5 was the new thing – well new thing for Africa anyway! It was MySpace in the West anyway – Americas, Europe, you get the drift. Putting up pictures was the deal and Flash Fotos (in Ghana) had a big boom in business at about that time. Just thinking about those days when everyone went to the internet cafes and bought at least 3000 cedis worth browsing time, which is equivalent to 3 Ghana cedis. Seeing all those boys ……. and girls at the internet cafe uploading pictures and adding friends was … um, quite a scene.

Then came Facebook …..that is a new book I am not even gonna open! So now we are one step ahead …… or behind (depending on how you see it) and Twitter is the new thing out there. Question is, do we ever get enough of social networks? I guess we can all guess the answer to that. What is the next big thing to hit us after Twitter? I cannot even begin to fathom a name ….. haha I tried to think but i just drew a _________ ….. you got it! A BLANK!!

The innovation of social networking sites …. you gotta question if they are there to help you connect with long-lost or current friends? Or are they they there to help stalkers get access to your information? We all question the use and importance of social networking sites but the fact still remains we are addicted to them and no matter the negative publicity and critics they may receive, we will never let them go.